Because I can think of nothing funnier at the moment.
Because I KNOW I’m not the only one with this problem
Because over the next couple weeks my blog will probably mostly contain all things regarding home schooling
Because I’ve been overly busy so I’m overly exhausted which leads me to believe this is overly hilarious(it’s ok if you don’t agree I know I’ve got a twisted sense of humor)
Because I’ve already given my mom fair warning I’m going to blog about this
Because I’m 34 and well my mom can’t ground me anymore (neener neener)
Because she can think of this as payback for showing Every boyfriend I’ve ever had my cheer leading videos.(yes I was a cheerleader. A catholic school cheerleader to top it all)
Because yes,yes I really am THIS mature!
This is my mom and me. The picture was taken about 3 years ago down at my parents place in Arizona. Don’t say I look my mom because I’m adopted so every time someone says that it reminds me of how owners and dogs start looking alike over time.,which would make me the dog. So please don’t go there.
I’ve put this poor woman through hell and back. Occasionally I still like to tease and poke fun with her like my phone conversation a couple days ago. We talk almost daily so when she answered the phone after I had spent most the morning trying to figure out what to wear I told her,
“Mom I’m blogging about your boobs in a couple of days.”
Of course the first words out of her mouth were,”Oh Wendy you are not!” Then she figured out very quickly what I was talking about.I think she sighed in fact I know she sighed.
“Yes I am…you know that really cute brown shirt you gave me?The one I woke up this morning thinking would be perfect to wear?I can’t wear it. You know why?Your boobs are bigger than mine so it sits funny on me.” We have this conversation everytime she hands me down anything other than a sweatshirt or t-shirt. She was blessed in this area,while I, well let’s just say was less than blessed.
There was probably another sigh in there.
“What do you mean it sits funny?
“It sits funny on me I can’t wear it properly because the front is stretched out and well where the boobs are supposed to sit ….mine don’t.”
“Well you don’t need to blog about it.”then she asked,”Maybe it will fit the right way with your *cough cough* padded bra.”
Oh see now it was her turn to take a jab at me. It’s alright though I deserved it.
“Mom I wear that bra every day…no it just doesn’t work. This sucks mom because I really want to wear brown today and it’s a really cute top.” Yes I know how much like a “girl” I sounded like.
“Well just don’t say anything mean,” she pleaded to which then she went on to jabber some more stuff about how she was not much bigger than me and she made a really funny comment that I can’t post here because the minute it came out of her mouth she said,
“Don’t blog that.”
And every once in awhile I listen to my mom.
“Well mom I appreciate the hand me downs, but I just can’t wear them.”
“Well don’t get rid of them maybe your boobs will grow.” She has been telling me this my whole adult life.
“Mom I’m 34 years old my boobs have been the same size since my last child.”
“Well you never know…”
“They’re not getting any bigger without medical help mom.They shrink though when I lose weight…go figure.”
“It’s not that my boobs are so much bigger I have a broader back then you that’s what everyone says,” she went on to defend herself. Honestly I’ve never heard someone argue that their boobs were not that big so I find it kind of funny. We went on to compare bra sizes to which we discovered nope same bra band size.So the whole broader back theory…out the window.
There is no argument here except her boobs ruin every shirt she hands down to me. Or I guess you could say my lack of boobs causes me not to be able to fill out the shirts properly.Yes I know it’s probably the second one. It’s not so much my mom’s boobs as it is my own.
So OK mom I told you I was gonna blog about it. Turn about is fair play so go ahead bring up the cheer leading videos.