The 12 year old’s conundrum…

I haven’t written a post about Single Momhood for a long time. Not sure quite why or why not I guess it’s because it is sooo just a part of my life that sometimes I assume it’s normal. For a bunch of us it is just a way of life. Because it is a way of life though I think my independent attitude can get in the way of fostering better relationships. I mean I’ve always been independent, but something else happens to you when you become a single mom I think. For me at least it’s the whole attitude of ” I can take on the world and don’t need any help.”

Stubbornness is not the only hard part of being a single mom. Last night I had a very interesting conversation with Nathaniel.

They are starting to visit their dad every other weekend. They haven’t done this since the first year of our separation and even that didn’t last more than 6 months.

So here is the conundrum… B’s cousin Ben who is like family to me is hosting “Paco taco night” aw to be 21 and full of imagination again. Basically we’re gonna make tacos,wait Ben is making tacos I might be making the guacamole. After tacos we’re watching horror movies and well I mean who doesn’t LOVE tacos and horror flicks right?

Nathaniel being the 12 and a half year old, I’m almost a man, person he is doesn’t want to miss Paco taco night(and really who can blame him? Again tacos and horror movies = awesomeness) So last night he asks if he really has to go to dads. Then he asks me,

“Can’t you just tell dad I’m sick?” Wow just wow….umm one, most kids I know don’t ask their parents to help them fake sick for them. Usually the kids fake sick to their parents. Secondly as I explained to him,

“I work hard to have a somewhat,kind of sort of, civil relationship with your father. I can’t lie to him,that’s not right.”

Which being the almost manly 12 and a half year old that he is,Nathaniel understood. I also told him though if he wanted to go he needed to discuss that with his father. I already know where this will land when he does ask his dad though. The same place it landed when I had told Bruce the kids wanted to do soccer the first year we were separated and some games would fall on his weekend…I will wind up being the bad guy trying to take his kids away from him. Apparently I’m great at being the bad guy. Wait…do bad guys get capes?and masks?If so SWEET. I’ve already got my maniacal laugh down.Ooohhh I could be called…oh I don’t know Madame X.Just throw me a a red  body suit and I’m good to go.Oh and a mask…I definitely will need a mask.

Sorry…got distracted their for a moment. Maybe I really am evil I’ve always identified more with the bad guys than the good.

Oh see now I’m just really getting of track.Back to my point.

My point?Sometimes it just really bites being a single mom. I hope Nathaniel will feel comfortable enough to ask his dad, and I hope his dad will be thinking of his son first and allow him to do so. Oh yeah can I just also hope that it doesn’t lead to me getting any nasty texts or being called any nasty names this go around? I know how horribly selfish of me right?


About twisteddomesticgoddess

I'm the momma/step momma/ teacher/head cook/ top organizer/ supplier of milk and baby kisses here at Casa La Crazy. Life with 7 kids is rarely dull and usually exciting. Add in 3 cats and one fun loving boyfriend and life is pretty adventurous!Come on in sit down and please bring some extra coffee!

Posted on November 3, 2011, in Kids Randomness, Single mom and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. It is tough being a mom to a man to be. Flying solo is not making it any easier. But being your fab self there is no challenge big enough!

  2. Well I hope your ex will be a decent person about all this and think about what your mature-beyond-his-years-son wishes to do without getting bent. Although it doesn’t sound like he has much of a track record.
    While I am not a single mom, if you let me join your masked band of mom’s, I have been known to quickly and without fanfare, punch unsuspecting, rude, and inconsiderate men in the face when drinking too many appletinis (hence I only drink microbrews these days). I consider this an asset to my character. If you let me join, can I wear a dark green cape with a black tornado motif (oh, oh and really dark green and offensive eyeshadow!)? 🙂

  3. Oh Wendy Darling,
    It’s tough being a single Mommy… make sure you wear your bright red cape with a kick ass shade of lipstick to match… Always blowing kisses in your direction… xoxo

  4. I am still new at the single mommy thing, but I am finding it hard to comprehend how I am the reason to blame for everything that goes wrong in His life! Even when I’m 1000 miles away! Um, no it’s not MY fault that when he only calls his two year old daughter once a month if that, she doesn’t really want to talk to the stranger on the phone! HELLO…she’s two! Heck, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around how he could be so stupid to lose the 3 best things that ever happened to him! I might as well go get my bodysuit and cape Now! But hey, can mine be black? Black is so much more forgiving! LOL!

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