What Keeps Me Going….My Kid’s Randomness
I’m sure I’ve said this before at some point but my kiddos are awesome. I love being a mother it’s my favorite stage of life so far. I can’t imagine, for myself, never being one.They are also very very random…just like their momma.
Even when I’m not in the best of moods or feeling tired they can make me giggle.
The other night they were on a roll. It was like half-pint comedy hour around here. Have I mentioned my kids have pretty awesome timing as well.I was cooking dinner after another long very long day and my baby belly was just not cooperating. Pretty sure it was growing and I was just feeling weird. I had all the kids sitting around the table doing school/home work.
Me: Ugg I feel like I have an alien inside of me
Kenna: It’s not an alien mom,it’s a baby.
Me mocking surprise: A BABY?How did that get in there???
As soon as I said it I knew better because even though MY kids know where baby’s come from and how they get there(see one of my most popular posts ever….https://twisteddomesticgoddess.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/i-hadnt-planned-on-a-sex-ed-lesson-today/) The girls… don’t know as much.
Kenna taking a deep breath: WEEELLLLLL…….
Me: No! No! We don’t need to go down that road again!
Not long after that little exchange I was sitting down at the table with the kids and I had 4 of them doing all 4 different levels of math. The kids know the unspoken rule of mathtime. If you have a question that I can’t or don’t WANT to answer I will tell you to grab the phone. This is code for “call Grandpa.” Because grandpa is just as sick as Nathaniel and Holly and loves math.I on the other hand….DESPISE it.
So I was concentrating on the addition and the multiplication as well as the long division going on. You know my mind was on USEFUL math.
Nathaniel decides to ask me some,in my mind,useless question about Multiplying mixed integers.My brain was already on fry mode and I just looked at him and handed him the phone…
He called Grandpa but Grandpa was in a hardware store.So I then called back.I’m pretty sure I shrieked some things over the phone to Grandma about WHY does he even NEED to know this…he’ll never use it I’VE NEVER USED IT.
Nathaniel then asked me if I knew how to do it, I told him,
“Yes I KNOW how to do it I just don’t WANT to do it!” I know sometimes I can be just as mature as my children.
Thankfully Grandpa called back before I got too far into the crying,yelling,kicking MY feet, portion of the math.The kids usually take my math fits in good humor. Seriously…I HATE MATH.
My smells have been totally off with this pregnancy. I think I have bought at least 4 different body washes I THOUGHT I could handle the smell of,only a week later to find that smell makes me vomit.(I know you wanted that visual.)So yesterday while at WalMart I decided I could probably handle a green apple scent.IF they had it. For some reason looking for the scent totally got me thinking of Aunt Becky over at Mommy Wants Vodka and I randomly rambled off,
” You know Purple really should be a flavor.”
And without skipping a beat Kenna replied,
“Yes yes it should! Orange has it’s own flavor why not purple?(Aunt Becky would be so proud.) Besides purple totally tastes like cupcakes.”
“Cupcakes huh?” I asked her
Ok from now on when I’m making cupcakes and someone asks me what flavor they are I’m so saying Purple.
The kids know the rule,no pee breaks during the trip until the end. So of course by the end of the trip all 5 of us had to pee. But me being the gracious mother I am stayed with the food,and non purple scented body wash, until Nathaniel came back out.
When I went into the restroom I right away spotted Holly’s shoes and the stall she was in being held shut by a grandmother type lady.I told her it was my daughter so I could take over for her and thank you very much.
She then told me she was a mom of 6 and grandmother of 14 and that she had seen Holly struggling to get the door locked and couldn’t just let the poor girl struggle. I told her I was also the mom of 6 soon to be 7 and we continued our conversation …you know while taking care of our business. We bid each other congrats(she just had a new grandbaby) and good days and I walked out of the restroom with the girls.
Outside Nathaniel was waiting for us with a shocked look on his face….
“You girls actually TALK in there?”
Nathaniel just shook his head in wonderment or maybe disgust and said,
“Us guys could never do that….that’s just….weird…”
I honestly don’t know how I could make it through one single day without my kids to make me laugh.