5 things you should NEVER say to MY mother growing up.
Oh what a fun topic over at Mama Kat’s Losin It writing prompts this week! I will admit I did the “Kenna Maniacal Laugh” when I read number 4. 5 Things You Should Never Say to Your Mother.
I was known as a child to spout off at the mouth. My mouth was the one thing that could constantly get me in trouble. I’m pretty sure I could’ve gotten in trouble just for saying things in my sleep…in fact I did once when my mom heard me cussing in my sleep. In my defense I had an ulcer…it flippin hurt!
So here ya go 5 things you should never say to MY mom. We’ll do it countdown style…because number 1 still I think goes down in the record books.
5. “Why do you have to be home when I get home? Can’t you get a job?When I grow up I’m NEVER going to be a stay at home mom.” Yeah that one kinda bit me in the ass huh? I now know why my mom was always home when I came home from school and value her sacrifices very much but man back then,I swore it was her day in day out job just to spy on me.
4. ” Stop fighting you two.” Ok I should say I grew up in the age of “divorce” My parents have been married for 46 years come this June. They’ve been it for better and for worst When I would say this my parents would look at me quizzically and respond with,”We’re not fighting we’re discussing.” Looking back I see that they were because I can honestly not remember ONE fight between the two of them.
3. “What are we having for dinner?” Sometimes the answer would be “baaaa” (yes she made the animal noise),sometimes she would answer,”chicken boobies”(sigh totally embarrassing as a teen), and sometimes she would just answer slop. Oh yummm!
2.”Stop yelling at me.” to which my mom in turn would tell me,”THIS is not yelling….THIS IS YELLING!” ok ok mom I got the difference.
And number 1 you NEVER EVER used as a response to a task my mother asked of you. I mean NEVER…..
1. “Yes Mother Dearest.” to which the rant would start,” Do NOT call me Mother Dearest! Do I beat you with wire hangers?Do I? Well? NO? Then do not call me Mother Dearest.” Don’t think this stopped me though. I knew this was the one hot button phrase that would get my mom’s goat.
I shared this with my kids one time. I had to explain to them who Joan Crawford was. Of course they try it with me to which I respond in my best Joan Crawford, “No…More…Wire…Hangers!”