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Exhaustion….The Good and The Bad

Not much time for blogging lately. I miss it but always seem to have about 20 other things going on,even at 4 in the morning.

Being the director and producer of Casa La Crazy has meant at times I feel pulled in a million different directions. So many changes going on,but all for the good. I woke up yesterday in an emotional funk. I wanted to be happy but truth is I was EXHAUSTED!

When someone asked me how I was yesterday and I told them tired they looked at me as if I had sprouted a third eye. Why is it that it’s ok for people to comment to you saying they don’t know how you handle it all,but when you admit every once in awhile(and trust me I must have been exhausted to actually admit I was tired),that you are tired they don’t understand why.

In fact someone actually asked,”Why” yesterday.

Which then makes me feel like I should be able to handle this whole big family life without being tired. I mean we the parents are the ones that chose to have a large family right? So we should be able to handle it all. That’s not always the case. Most the time it is the case,but through different seasons things change.

I know this season of exhaustion is just that…a season. So much is going on and so much is changing.

Things that have happened in the last 4 weeks alone:

– started 3 of the kids in a one day a week parent/public school partnership. Which now means I have to write out their lesson plans,check in with a teacher,and send in monthly progress of our homeschooling. Next year that will be all 6 school age kids.

– Kenna’s surgery. Having a kiddo laid up without two working legs is hard. It is for the best,but it is hard. Thankfully her casts are off and she has walking boots on,but she needs a walker, and it has taken her some time to get used to walking in the boots. She continues to amaze me though at her “can do” attitude. She even told me she was ready to start doing chores again!

– Moving our ducks and chicks outside. This isn’t necessarily hard,just another thing added to the day. Including the part where I had to stop feeding Squishy last week because all 19 birds managed to get out of the fenced area….it was bound to happen sooner or later. I was hoping for thought!

– The great bedroom swap! Oh yes we did it again. Too many girls going through puberty,needing to be alone. Two little girls who still play with toys and live in fantasy lands. Yes we swapped rooms. IT IS DONE and I will not swap again until we move!!! Which by the way I have informed Brandon we’re not moving again EVER. Well unless we buy a house or the owner decides to move back here.

– My mom’s visit. She arrives tomorrow! HOORAY!!! I’m genuinely looking forward to this.


So it’s not like all these things are bad,in fact none of them are and I enjoy having them be part of my life. It is just a lot going on at one time. I’m sure I’ll adjust to it all,but in the mean time I’m exhausted. I think it’s OK for all of us to become exhausted once in awhile. It means you’re working hard and hopefully with all your heart.

In fact by the time I adjust,knowing me, I”ll add something new to the mix. So for now….Here’s To Exhaustion!!! I raise my coffee cup to you!



Why Do They Have To Grow Up?

Last week was a busy week. Like one of those weeks you’re not even sure you took the time to pee,busy.I think we had one non busy day that whole week.Of course the one day that is not busy,where I could actually breathe and I think everything is going swimmingly,I get thrown through a loop by Kenna.

I am just gonna say it now and get it out of the way….THIS is a total whiner post.


Because to put it simply,my kids are growing up and I realize there is no way to ever EVER slow it down.

It all started with a maniacal laugh and a question. Yes Kenna has a maniacal laugh and when she does I know I’m in for it. She just kept giggling that she wanted to go on an adventure.

What kind of an adventure does an 11 almost 12 year old want to go on? Well keep in mind this is no normal 11 year old. This 11 year old wants to build a community homestead over in England when she grows up and keeps meticulous notes on good plants and herbs,as well as building plans for “the guild”(her name for it). So with Kenna you really never ever know.

I told her to follow me to the bathroom because well I had to pee and let’s face it 7 kids in the house,it’s still the only place for privacy.It probably was a good thing I was sitting down.

“I want to go to public junior high or an alternative. I know I’ve said I never wanted to go before but it will be an ADVENTURE!”

Good thing I was sitting down.

Most kids’ idea of an adventure would be going to Disney Land. Not my kiddos.

After the shock of the fact that she might now be home with me all the time next year wore off I began researching some alternatives,to which I think we found a great one.

I was already having a hard time with the fact that Nathaniel was going to be a Freshman next year. I mean,how can I have a Freshman? I still remember him being this very hard headed toddler,with empathy for miles. Now he has grown into a great young man who is very willing to help out around the house despite his smart ass comments sometimes.

We had settled on computer schooling for him for next year just the week before.However,after looking over this great school,Nathaniel will be going there as well.

So will a couple of the younger kids for a few enrichment classes.

This IS a new adventure for us, as I’ve always been the sole principle,teacher,curriculum chooser. For the last 8 years it has been all me.

The more I look into it though,the more I like the program. We meet with the principle on Tuesday.

Why do they have to grow up though?

When did they become capable of making such adult decisions.Ones, that are absolutely for the best of them?

I know I know I still have my bonus girls,and Holly and Lane and Adrienne. I can see it in their eyes though…they’re all growing up as well.

Heck at 6 and a half months Adrienne is already trying to pull herself up on things!

Time needs to just slow down! I now understand why the Duggars have so many kids.

I know many people look forward to their kids growing up. I do as well. I can’t wait to see what kind of adults they become. However,with the addition of Adrienne I am reminded of my first true love as an adult,being a mother.

I will survive this just as every mother before me. I am struggling with it though. So please if you see me,and I seem to be a bit off,just be kind.



Missing In Action No Longer

WOW!!!! Has it really been two weeks since my last post?!?!?! No wonder I’ve felt a little lost. Note to self:do not ignore your blog and your outlet needed to express yourself.

However things have been busy here at Casa La Crazy.

I mean how could it not be busy with a very active and mobile 6 month old?Yes you read that right Adrienne Danielle aka Squishy turned 6 months old last Friday! To celebrate her half a year on the outside,she gave herself her first split lip! Poor baby!




was the culprit of her split lip. Yes it was all cute while she gnawed on the table until she brought her head back and promptly banged it back down. Poor kiddo.

She has also learned she can roll to get to wherever she may need to go.Including the dvds


Then to top it all off she has started solids. Woohooo! We’re starting off slowly with cereal only,and only once a day. Breast milk is still her food of choice,but she seems to like the cereal just fine.




In the midst of Squishy’s growing up way too fast we have exciting news.

NO we’re not pregnant. However we have added to the family.

Meet the Jolly Green Giant,yes we nickname or name everything around here.


It is so nice not to have to squish kids and to be able to go places all in one car.


Well I”m going to try and catch a couple more winks before Ms Squishy wakes up and is ready to start the day.I think I should leave you with a bit more cuteness though first!

Serioulsy how can you even resist a face like that?!?!

32 Reasons I Love My Man~Happy Birthday Brandon!

Yesterday was Brandon’s 32 birthday….awww 32. Seems like just yesterday I was  that young fun age. Now I’m facing 36 almost dead on.

Anyways this isn’t a post about me and how I refuse to grow up.

So,where was I? Oh yes Brandon’s birthday. Yes,yesterday was Brandon’s birthday.

There were decorations:

There was ooey gooey cake.

There was shrimp quesadillas.

And just possibly…there was a misplaced birthday present that his older feeble minded girlfriend misplaced and still cannot find!

Oh and of course there was the birthday boy!


So,in honor of Brandon’s 32nd birthday,I present to you:

32 Things I Love About My Man

1. His equal unabashed love of coffee-thanks to him there’s always a fresh pot on.

2. His handiness around the house. Whether it’s cooking or fixing something,he is pretty darn helpful to have around.

3. His height-It’s rare that I can’t reach something but when I can’t,he can.

4. His love for my kids. It’s not easy to walk into a step parent roll…he is a pretty awesome step dad.

5. He makes sure I eat my vegetables.

6. He painted my toenails almost weekly this summer when I was too pregnant to half the time even SEE my toes!

7. He appreciates the little things,not the big flashy expensive things.

8. He honestly would rather see me  without makeup.Which makes me feel so less guilty on those pajama days we seem to have so often around here!

9. His laugh…his laugh is contagious.

10. Watching stand up comedy with him for the obvious reasons…(see number 9.)

11. He works his butt off so I can stay home with the kids.

12.He works nights…anyone who works nights I tip my hat off to.

13. He’s younger than me. Yes yes I can say…yup I got me a young hottie. Or….maybe not….that still kinda sounds creepy. Still I like the fact he’s younger than me!

14. He loves all the kiddos,even on their worst,boundary pushing days.

15. He’s one of the only people that I know,that is more competitive than me at family game night.

16. The feel of his arms wrapped tightly around me. No place I would rather be.

17. Even though he’s not a music person he totally indulges me in my love for music….yes even if it’s NKOTB.

18. He was totally hands on with the birth of Adrienne right up till it was time to deliver the placenta. Yes he delivered our baby girl…how could you NOT love him after that.

19. He’s not really into sports….thank GOD!

20. We would both love to live off the grid someday!

21. He is willing to let me get a goat.(oh yeah that’s a whole OTHER blog post)

22. He can handle me on my “oh my gosh I have sooooo much to do,so I think I will just crawl into the corner and rock back and forth” days.

23. He tells me I’m beautiful even if I haven’t showered in a day or two.

24. He plays enough video games for the two of us. Yes I do thank him for that because I really cannot fall into that addiction again.

25. He constantly tries to educate himself on different topics which makes him fun to talk with.

26. Even though he’s not a singer,he learned the special words to the song I sing to Adrienne,that my grandpa used to sing to me.

27. I know he will fight tooth and nail to keep this family together.

28. He gets just as excited over gifts as I do. so excited I got most of my Christmas presents early! WOOHOO

29. He’s not a big sweet tooth person most of the time…which leaves more chocolate for me! Total Win!

30. He supports my dreams of becoming whatever I want. Whether it is a cosmetologist,a labor doula,or heck even an astronaut.

31. He’s not a boob man…thank god since my boobs belong to Adrienne at the moment.

32. He loves me unconditionally…good,bad,or indifferent, I know he’s there for me.

Happy Birthday Baby I hope your day was as special as you are to us! I promise one of these days I will find your gift…of course it will probably be Christmas by then!




Casa La Crazy is Still Standing

I know I’ve written a lot lately about breast feeding and the amazing incredible Ms Squishy. You probably think that she is all that happens around here anymore. Believe it or not I still have 6 other kiddos,one amazing boyfriend(as always),and a house that totally has earned its name. Oh yes it is NEVER dull here at Casa La Crazy.

We have all managed to get back into the swing of things after Christmas and then the great sickness bug of 2013…ohhh dear Lord let that be the only sickness bug we get all year. I swear I felt like the walking dead. Who am I kidding I couldn’t even walk…I was about ready to ask for a bed pan. Even though my kids took amazing care of me while Brandon was at work(Nathaniel even slept on the couch next to me in case I needed help.),I do think they would’ve drawn the line at emptying a bed pan.

I have found time to get back into the kitchen…yeah. Cooking dinners for my family and the occasional hot breakfast,make me happy.

The homeschooled kids are getting ready to study the presidents for a month while taking a break from our Narnia studies.

The public schooled girls seem to have gotten back into the swing of school after a long break.

It’s time for me to start thinking about highschool for Nathaniel next year….GULP….HIGH SCHOOL!!!! Yes he will be homeschooled for it….do I know how yet?Nope not a clue!

The landlord that told us she was going to put the house up for sale at the end of our lease(she tells us this the week after Squishy was born.) has now decided not to sell and we get to keep living here! Yeah for stability!

Since we’re staying we have decided it’s time to get chicks here soon. Yup because like we don’t have enough craziness here let’s add chicks…

And maybe,just maybe, we might be adding a milking goat…..

We will be van shopping here soon! As much as I hate car shopping the freedom of a car that will fit us all will be AMAZING!

We did get our family pics done but never managed to send out the holiday cards we ordered.There’s always next year!

I threw out the idea today that if we DID get a milking goat it would be totally cool to take a picture of me milking the goat WHILE squishy milks me…yeah how’s that for random.

The snow is melting which also means more outside time.

And as always…Casa La Crazy is filled with lots of talking,lots of activity,tons of cuddling,and an overabundance of love.

Seriously,if you’re ever in the area you should stop by and see for yourselves….I’ll even save you my favorite coffee mug.



How a Momma to 7 Prepares for Family Photos

Last week I mentioned family pictures….yes our family of 9 was going to attempt family pictures.

We attempted

And we NAILED it!

So without further ado…how to get a family of 9 ready for family pictures in one week.

1.Beginning of week look into all family members closets and quickly do the “Oh my goodness how on earth are we ever going to coordinate.” song and dance. Trust me the dance is more fun than the song. The dance involves going up and down three flights of stairs,going in and out of several bedrooms,and then finally realizing you have to color coordinate everything to your nicest nursing tank anyways since most likely baby will want to eat during said photo shoot. The song may or may not include a couple of swears. See the dance is MUCH more fun.

2.  After deciding on the color scheme announce it to the kids and be met appropriately with the groans of,”ohhhhh we have to match?”Honestly i picked out grey,black,burgundy and pink. NOT that difficult. Kids had their outfits picked out within minutes.

3. The third day in you tell the kids to go put on their outfits so you can see how they all look together.Again met with groans because, well momma may be obsessing over this a little too much. Assure the kids it’ll be like a fashion show! Older kids roll their eyes younger kids dig the awesome idea their way cool momma came up with.

4.Listen to more groans and little girls excitement while you ask them to pose for a “practice picture” in their outfits.

Obviously Holly was still going with the “it’s a fashion show” idea.

5. After looking at the picture realize there are a couple of kids that need a hair cut or bang trim.

6.The next day put any extra willing hands up to the cutting of the hair.

7.And now it’s the night before pictures. Throw the boys and two of the girls whose hair will behave overnight into the showers.Pray those four still wake up looking clean in the morning.

8.PICTURE DAY!!! Momma wakes up at 5:30 am (pictures are scheduled for 10:30)to ensure herself a shower,and some quiet time to get into the right mindset. Momma reminds herself that today is supposed to be fun.Momma gets back into pajamas because she happens to know her baby is the queen of spit up.

9.7 am wake the rest of the crew up.Throw the other two girls that did not shower the night before into the shower and begin setting up the “hair fixing station” on the dining room table. Kids are pleased because momma has announced no chores till after we get back. Everyone is in really good moods including momma.

10. Boys are dressed and looking nice by 7:30 and the hair fixing has begun. 1 girls hair straightened, 1 short bob blown dry and styled to the side,1 super long red-headed girls hair blown dry,and one little blondie put into little doggy tails. PHEWWW.In the middle of all this daddy wakes up and showers.(He had worked all night the night before.)

11.With an hour left before photos momma had planned on feeding the baby before getting dressed and putting on makeup,but baby is asleep on the floor so I head upstairs.

12. We arrive at the picture place only 6 minutes late but everyone is happy and relaxed. The photographer looks a little unsure of herself, as she tries to pose all 9 of us, but she soon finds all the kids easy to work with and relaxes even more when we tell her it’s ok if baby doesn’t smile.

13.Ultimate photo shoot ensues…with lots of laughter and lots of smiles. Although,smiles don’t always happen at the same time.The kids do awesome and baby doesn’t cry or want feeding, and hey the parents didn’t do too shabby themselves.

14. Finally after a week of preparing,within an hour its over and we get to see the results. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. heck I’d even venture to say we’re a pretty fine-looking family.

However I’ll let you guys make the final decision.




Yeah I’d say I’m one lucky momma…and that our kiddos are pretty stinkin awesome.

37 weeks……Bring it!

Yup this tiny…ahem…I mean gigantic 7lbs baby inside of me is now 37 weeks. WHERE has the time gone?

I have been spending my days finishing up decorating her nursery and making sure things are where I can get to them….then taking what seems like a 10 hour nap….then groggily making my way through dinner so I can plunk my butt down to watch tv with the kiddos before I go back to my bed.

I have had a few signs of labor and Monday night was definitely one of them. Of course it couldn’t happen all weekend while Brandon was home that would be too simple. I had told Ms A she had to wait till after my homeschool meeting Monday night to try and be born,I’m thinking she’s stubborn like the rest of us and doesn’t like to be told what to to do,because she then proceeded to give me about 12 hours of wretched back labor.

While at the meeting,one of the girls noticed me sitting then standing, and asked me if I was ok. I told her yea…I’m just in labor. I couldn’t help but laugh at her expression. Yes this is baby number 6 from me but trust me my labors go from 12 hours to 3 weeks. I have time.

I still do not have a bag packed for the hospital. I figure when the time comes I’ll kind of know what I want to bring with me until then I really can’t think about it.

I can tell you that things are moving along. My parents are convinced she’ll be born before they arrive sometime soon after Labor Day. My mom keeps telling me just to make sure I keep her little until then.I kinda plan on keeping this one little for awhile.

We are heading off for our 37 week check up this morning. I know some things inside of me have changed(How’s that for not getting too graphic.)but like I said before…I tend to have really long labors.

My days alternate between serene calmness and other days where anything anyone does I kinda of want to rip their faces off. Surprisingly the serene calmness days are the days that scare the crap outta me. Calm has never been a word I’ve used to describe myself.

I’ve been reading as many natural childbirth stories as I can just soaking them up and yeah pretty much anything makes me cry. We’re at the tail end of this journey and the beginning of a new one. I keep thinking about how far we’ve come in the last 9 months. From living in the frat house to living here at Casa La Crazy. The healing that has taken place inside of me,that I didn’t even realize still had to be made.Our blended family,blending together even more.

This is definitely one journey I have been very very happy to make.



It’s the final countdown

If you could look around my living room right now you would see 3 children passed out in various spots. One on each couch and one on the floor. We all stayed up way too late last night watching movies.

While I sit here on the “therapy chair” the kids call the end of the couch that has a built in ottoman this, and the term has lovingly stuck, I feel an odd sense of peace and serenity. All too soon we all may be passed out all over the place, simply because we’ve been up all night with Adrienne.

This feeling of peace and serenity has been coming and going over me the last few days. Yes we’ve had some days with major stresses,namely the medical staff not doing their part to get the right records so I can avoid a second c-section after already having 4 successful Vbacs,but in the end this feeling always comes back.

Yes I’ve never done natural childbirth before

Yes it still scares the hell out of me to some degree

Yes I have never breastfed before

However,Brandon and I both know what’s best for us as a family as well as welcoming Adrienne into the world. At almost 37 weeks the fact that we’re going to have another little one entering the family is a reality.

She is moving almost constantly now. She will fit right in with her brothers and sisters.

We had our last ultrasound this week and the estimate on her weight so far is 7lbs 3 oz!!! No wonder I feel so tired. That’s a lot of baby at 36 weeks to carry around.

36 weeks foot

She hasn’t engaged into the pelvis yet but she has definitely been practicing her flexibility. Yes,that is a foot in her face!!!!

36 weeks

All the kids said she was doing her first facepalm in this pic. I couldn’t agree more.

I know I am capable of giving birth to this baby, even when fears creep in I am still able to ease them with the fact that this is my body,it knows what I’m doing.

36 weeks face

We can’t wait to meet you baby girl. I think you’re going to fit right in!

If anyone has any words of wisdom they’d like to share….please do!

We know that

A little verbal vomit for your Tuesday morning

Something’s off….I wish I could put my finger on exactly what it is but I can’t at the time. You can always tell when things are off with me because my blogging becomes either non existent or erratic. I wake up in the morning think I SHOULD blog…but then just think how I’m not in the most positive of moods so why bring everyone else down?

Before you say “Hey cut yourself some slack you’re 32 weeks pregnant” it’s not all just that. I get I’m pregnant and tried and grumpy and have swollen beyond sexy feet…but other things are off too and it throws me off as well.

After yet another reschedule though the fridge and piano are FINALLY out of the house.

It seems though anything I try to do lately here inside of Casa La Crazy just goes wrong. No one listens,or things go missing,or what once kept me entertained for hours now bores me to death.

We are schooling and for the most part enjoying it although I’m struggling with a very reluctant reader who has gotten down right rude at times. This in my book is never acceptable yet she still is allowed to just sit there and stare when asked a question?

Two of my kids lost part of a 200 dollar math curriculum yesterday that Holly is currently in the middle of.

And well yes have I mentioned that I’m 32 weeks pregnant? Not only that but but not married 32 weeks pregnant. I’m sorry if I ruffle any feathers but I hate feeling like a careless teenager who had to make the,”Dad I’m pregnant” phone call months back. I am 35…yes it was my choice to have sex without protection but honestly what kind of example have I set for my kids?Trust me getting the “sex before marriage” talk from your 13 year old is never fun. At least I know he’s been listening.

I’ve said it before…blending a family is hard work. It takes time,it takes patience,but really some of these things we’ve been working on for the last 8 months with no improvement.After 8 months small things like accepting you need to do chores should be do able by now. But no since it’s not maybe I’m the one that needs to step back and adjust things?

I’m sorry so where has any of my role in the household gone? Where has my pride in my job gone?

We have started working with a counselor for the bigger aspects of blending a family,dealing with attachment issues,and other things. Here’s the kicker….

It’s the same counselor my family used to go to 20 years ago.

20 years ago I hated this man…I’m  pretty sure in all my teen angst glory I told him I wish he would die.

Now I could kiss the ground he walks on.

He assures me that yes I was a little bitch but I was still fun to work with…hey gotta love the guy for being honest. Oh and I’ve apologized for wishing death or any other plaguing disease on him when I was younger.

We were there 20 years ago mainly for my adoptive brother with many many issues.When i told him some of the reasons we were here now he sat back and said,

” So you have come full circle then.”



I don’t know why that term bothers me so much because I love each and everyone of my children my own or not…

I find myself getting angry about a lot of things impart because I’m an impatient person…impart because well crap …I don’t know.

So if you’ve been wondering why I haven’t been blogging lately it’s not so much because it’s summer it’s more because I’m in this stupid funk.

Stick by me folks I promise to kick myself in the butt and get out of it soon.

OH Yes I’m Defintely a Large Family Momma

Mama’s Losin’ ItIt’s been a weird week here at Casa la Crazy. My 4 left for a week at their dad last Friday. For the last week even though we’ve been busy with Dr’s appointments,the house just still seems very off kilter.Or maybe it’s just me.

I posted on facebook last night that I didn’t know how you moms of 2 did it. The house just feels so….empty without all 6 here.

Very obviously I was meant to be a mother to lots of kids. This getting only 2 kiddos up and going for the day is NOT for me. I miss all the laughter,the different conversations and even baking and cooking for my large group.

You’d think everything would go back to normal on Sunday when I get my 4 back,but nope that’s when my 2 bonus girls leave for a camping trip with their grandmother for 4 days.

The beginning of June started with Nathaniel being gone for 10 days.

We will not all officially be back in the house together until July 2nd!!!!

So I guess to finish Mama Kat’s writing prompt,”You know you’re a mom when…”

When your heart feels like something is missing because you don’t have more than two kids in your household.

C’mon now we don’t call this place Casa La Crazy for nothin!