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Logistics of sickness in a large family.

Of all the many,wonderful benefits of having a large family,the dinner table conversation,always someone to play with,a helping hand always just right down the hall….none of that and I mean NONE of that matters when the dreaded sickness enters the house.

For a normal size family(yes I mean the whole 2.5 kid sceneraio…btw the whole .5 kid thing still makes me picture the bottom half of a kid running around CREEPY!),a sickness will usually enter the household make its quick trip through the kids,maybe a parent and then leave.

With a large family(4 kids or more),a sickness enters the house and sings,

“Party over here! Party over there! Let’s spread our sickness EVERYWHERE!”
 

No amount of hand washing,sanitizing,EVEN quarantine will keep the sickness party dude from dying.

It doesn’t just take down the kids,and heaven forbid it just takes down all the kids at once,oh no it hops SLOWLY from kid to kid adult to adult. Just as you think you’re going to get a day of no sickness,BAM, another kid drops.

Or you do get one healthy day where no one in the house is sick.You start to think,”woohoo sickness over!”

BAM

another child drops like a fly.

We are going on week two of this lovely sickness and I’m not ashamed to say I’m taking bets on who will get it next. Since Friday,the day after I started feeling better,I have lost 4 kiddos to the hacking,the wheezing,the fever.

That leaves two kids left and one adult for it to hit. I’m pretty sure that Trin is not going to get it.So my next guess would be Nathaniel is going to drop next…

We shall see what the next 48 hours brings.

I have lived with showering every other day and worn out yoga pants…

Maybe the next 48 hours will bring me a vacation.

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Dance Party Over Here….

My poor poor kids…is what I think on most days I mean they do have to deal with me day in and day out. I can be strict I can be off the wall with new ideas that they know will only last a day at most,then there are some days when it seems like EVERYONE is in my bubble!

Then there are the days that this momma has been up since 4:30 am and is feeling a little loopy while trying to breast feed a child and get a gourmet dinner of fish sticks,french fries, and pickles and olives out. Why is it out of the easiest meals I’ve “made” this week it took me the longest to get it to the table?

Maybe it was because the day before I had been suffering from a SERIOUS case of the grumpies….I mean serious people. No amount of coffee in the world seemed to help,not even topped with whipped cream. No cutest baby smiles….no I love yous….not even my kids doing their school work compliantly could pull me out of that stupid funk.

So yesterday as the “dinner rush” was about to begin and my loopiness from being awake so long began to take affect,I decided we needed music. Not just any music but the kind that makes you wanna jump(Sing it with me y’all Jump Jump!),dance,and croon right along. We needed 80’s and 90’s boy band music! Thank God for Pandora because within minutes we were singing (ok I was doing most of the singing) and dancing along to New Kids On The Block,Bel Biv Devoe,Nsync,Backstreet Boys,and even a little Michael.

I rotated kids in and out of the kitchen to help throw the fish sticks on a sheet or in the oven,while others practiced their smooth dance moves in the living room. I use the word smooth loosely have you ever seen a room full of 7-10 year olds trying to imitate boy band moves?I wish I would’ve taken some video.

AND THE MUSIC????? Well it was up pretty loud.

Thank God Squishy likes music. Oh and the neighbor girl ya know Kenna’s best friend? She sat staring at us like we were all nuts for the most part. I often wonder why she loves coming over so much, (she has become a permanent fixture in our house and is welcomed happily.) then I realize it’s probably like getting to go to the circus for free.

WELCOME TO CASA LA CRAZY…..

Where you may come in with the grumpies but you will never ever leave without a smile!

 

How a Momma to 7 Prepares for Family Photos

Last week I mentioned family pictures….yes our family of 9 was going to attempt family pictures.

We attempted

And we NAILED it!

So without further ado…how to get a family of 9 ready for family pictures in one week.

1.Beginning of week look into all family members closets and quickly do the “Oh my goodness how on earth are we ever going to coordinate.” song and dance. Trust me the dance is more fun than the song. The dance involves going up and down three flights of stairs,going in and out of several bedrooms,and then finally realizing you have to color coordinate everything to your nicest nursing tank anyways since most likely baby will want to eat during said photo shoot. The song may or may not include a couple of swears. See the dance is MUCH more fun.

2.  After deciding on the color scheme announce it to the kids and be met appropriately with the groans of,”ohhhhh we have to match?”Honestly i picked out grey,black,burgundy and pink. NOT that difficult. Kids had their outfits picked out within minutes.

3. The third day in you tell the kids to go put on their outfits so you can see how they all look together.Again met with groans because, well momma may be obsessing over this a little too much. Assure the kids it’ll be like a fashion show! Older kids roll their eyes younger kids dig the awesome idea their way cool momma came up with.

4.Listen to more groans and little girls excitement while you ask them to pose for a “practice picture” in their outfits.
Untitled

Obviously Holly was still going with the “it’s a fashion show” idea.

5. After looking at the picture realize there are a couple of kids that need a hair cut or bang trim.

6.The next day put any extra willing hands up to the cutting of the hair.

7.And now it’s the night before pictures. Throw the boys and two of the girls whose hair will behave overnight into the showers.Pray those four still wake up looking clean in the morning.

8.PICTURE DAY!!! Momma wakes up at 5:30 am (pictures are scheduled for 10:30)to ensure herself a shower,and some quiet time to get into the right mindset. Momma reminds herself that today is supposed to be fun.Momma gets back into pajamas because she happens to know her baby is the queen of spit up.

9.7 am wake the rest of the crew up.Throw the other two girls that did not shower the night before into the shower and begin setting up the “hair fixing station” on the dining room table. Kids are pleased because momma has announced no chores till after we get back. Everyone is in really good moods including momma.

10. Boys are dressed and looking nice by 7:30 and the hair fixing has begun. 1 girls hair straightened, 1 short bob blown dry and styled to the side,1 super long red-headed girls hair blown dry,and one little blondie put into little doggy tails. PHEWWW.In the middle of all this daddy wakes up and showers.(He had worked all night the night before.)

11.With an hour left before photos momma had planned on feeding the baby before getting dressed and putting on makeup,but baby is asleep on the floor so I head upstairs.

12. We arrive at the picture place only 6 minutes late but everyone is happy and relaxed. The photographer looks a little unsure of herself, as she tries to pose all 9 of us, but she soon finds all the kids easy to work with and relaxes even more when we tell her it’s ok if baby doesn’t smile.

13.Ultimate photo shoot ensues…with lots of laughter and lots of smiles. Although,smiles don’t always happen at the same time.The kids do awesome and baby doesn’t cry or want feeding, and hey the parents didn’t do too shabby themselves.

14. Finally after a week of preparing,within an hour its over and we get to see the results. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. heck I’d even venture to say we’re a pretty fine-looking family.

However I’ll let you guys make the final decision.

SOSS 05

SOSS 09

SOSS 12

Yeah I’d say I’m one lucky momma…and that our kiddos are pretty stinkin awesome.

Mary Did You Know…

I tend not to get very religious here on my blog. It is not because I am not, in fact I’m quite the opposite. It’s not because I’m afraid I’d offend anyone because umm let’s face it my name IS Twisted Domestic Goddess,that name alone implies I’m probably going to offend someone, somewhere, at sometime. It is not because I’m pushing God away either…it is usually because my relationship with God is so personal it’s hard for me to put into words. (Yes there are still some areas that STILL leave me speechless.)

However,last night,while holding my sweet baby in my arms I couldn’t help but shed a tear or two. I had the song Mary Did You Know playing through my head most of the night.

Our family has already done Christmas. Maybe that is a good thing it gave me time last night to reflect on the things I know,the things I was taught growing up,and just some quiet time between me and my God.

Nathaniel read the story of the first Christmas to us our morning before we unwrapped presents. Again I couldn’t help but tear up. Amazingly it was not so much because of Jesus being born.I teared up for Mary. Every time I have ever heard that story my mind and heart always goes to Mary.

This year when he read it I caught on to a part I guess I had always skipped. The part that reads that Mary was still only Joseph’s fiancee when they went back to Bethlehem and when Jesus was born.

There was no room at the inn. We all know this. But for a mother who is  pregnant with the Son of God,someone who would die for us but not first without numerous amazing events throughout his life,as well as not being married and having some still mark her for that,must have been a very emotional time for her.

Mary knew her son would go on to save the world,however many others didn’t. To others Mary just looked like a harlett,someone who herself had sinned.I can’t imaging holding my head up high through the stares and whispers. The courage it took for Mary.

And yet this year as well,my heart went out to Joesph for the first time ever. Mary wasn’t the only one who had to have endured the stares and whispers. These two had such an amazing faith in God.

Two unmarried young parents together in a stable,giving birth to the King who would save us all.

Mary holding the young babe just moments after birth,still covered in goo, and realizing at some point her child would leave this earth before her. It had to be both glorious and heart breaking at the same time.Did she weep with sadness as well as Joy. Did she know how much pain and suffering her son would have to endure just to bring the love of God to all of us?

As mothers it is our job to raise our children the best we can. To love them and be there for them through the good as well as the hard, heart wrenching bad times. Mary’s responsibility was ten fold.

Last night while holding my beautiful daughter I was reminded of all this once again.What heart wrenching times will my daughter as well as my other children have to endure. Will I be a good enough mother with the support I offer? Will I be a good enough example through the tough times to show them to keep their eyes towards God and to lean on him? I pray I will be.

Mary did you know….

There is no earthly way we ever really know all our children will happen upon through their lifetime

I am so thankful that we do have Jesus to share with us His love.

Mary may not have known,but she kept her eyes towards God and gave mothers everywhere an example to follow.

Making My Life Simpler…And Happier

Hey you all know what this little sign means right?Or at least by now you should.It means that yes,oh yes, it’s MONDAY! Usually my favorite day of the week.However this week between homeschooling,early release of the bonus girls,meetings every night except for Tuesday, and not only a Dr apt but a dentist apt for me as well on Friday I’m not quite sure how I will survive this week.

I will be attending my first school conferences since Nathaniel was in Kindergarten! You know what us homeschool mommas say. “It’s ok if I talk to myself I’m just having a parent/teacher conference.” Well this week I get to have not only one with another teacher but two as well. And of course all these meetings and conferences take place after 4 o’clock.Some people might not think this is bad, but for a morning person like myself this is torture.

So this weeks Listicle is going to hit right on the spot. This week our listicle list is brought to us by Terri.

10 things/people/services that make my life easier

1. My eldest son Nathaniel. There’s been a lot of running around and Dr apts during this pregnancy and THANK GOD for Nathaniel.  We don’t have a car errr um full sized van yet to hold all of us so he has been a life saver by offering up his babysitting services free of charge. He says it’s good experience for him when he actually DOES start babysitting,although after the week he’s going to have to pull right along with me I think I’ll have to do something special for him.

2. My day planner. Ok OK I KNOW I have a smart phone and even a computer with a calendar on it.Heck I’m sure there is even a website that I could use to put in my apts and it would SEND it to my smart phone.For me though,nothing beats writing down the actual apt with paper and pen. I guess I’m just old fashioned like that.

3. Coffee stands.I live in Spokane Washington. There’s a coffee stand on every corner and if I have rushed out of the house without coffee and made the 20 minute drive into civilization without coffee of killing anyone I DESERVE to spend the 3 bucks for a white chocolate caramel latte.

4.Comedy Cd’s This is a fairly new one for me that I rediscovered on our trip to Everett a couple months ago. I’m telling you nothing makes your day goes smoother after popping in some Jeff Dunham,George Carlin(if kids aren’t around) or Bill Engvall. After listening to one of these my moods are a ton better.

5. Music. Right along with the comedy cd’s. If I’m doing something I know is daunting or really don’t want to do I pop in some music and it usually helps.

6. The boys here at the Frat House. Yes they can annoy the crap out of me and yes they sometimes even make my life harder not simpler,but for the most part they are good guys that are usually either willing to chop an onion for me(because I’m sick of crying every single time.),stir a pot of sauce,or just compliment me on my cooking even when I know it’s not their favorite thing to eat. Yes yes I’m gonna miss these guys….a little.

7.My Smart Phone. Best V day present ever! my old phone was not connecting to facebook anymore and the camera was crappy. I love my phone. B said he didn’t know what else to get me since he heard me once say “I don’t need a guy to buy me jewelry I can buy my own.” I think he may had taken my independent sentence the wrong way so pssstt heads up B I’ll let you buy me jewelry.(I know I know shameless hint right there.Hey I have a birthday coming up though.)

8.My Boyfriend. Speaking of B…he has def helped to make my life a lot simpler. He supports my homeschooling,is willing to take over a whole afternoon if I need to go hide…I mean take a nap for a bit, and heck he even enjoys cooking.Well that’s if I LET him in the kitchen. Yeah I’d say not only has he helped simplify my life but he brings so much joy to it as well.

9.The numerous pregnancy sites out there. Instead of guessing how big baby is at this exact moment or if I should be showing this much so early( I know I know I need to post another pic.) I can look up online and see where other people are as well as other pictures. Besides who doesn’t want to know if your baby is the size of a green olive,a lemon, or a naval orange.

10.My Blog. It gives me a chance to get my brain going early in the mornings,capture all the memories in my life, and just connect with people all over the world. It has definitely helped get my creative juices going.

And there you have it! My list of ten things that make my life simpler…which coincidentally also bring me the most joy.Hmm maybe we’re all onto something here.

Oh and while I have your attention. We’re waiting to hear back on not only one house but TWO. Please keep the prayers and good thoughts coming.

The Statement That Rocked My World This Week

I know I’ve sucked at blogging this week.I could give you a million excuses why. In fact most of those excuses would be valid. I could whine at you and tell you about my busy week…but then everyone else has had an equally busy week.I could just say my heart hasn’t been in it…but that’s not true either. The reason I haven’t really been a great blogger this week is all Kenna’s fault. She sent me into a tailspin with one simple sentence she declared to me back on Monday night.

She has had my head spinning from the moment she said it. I’m not sure how to take what she said and I’m still processing it.The simple thing she said to me so matter of factually was:

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be a single mom when I grow up.”

The statistics of it all is yes, if she gets married and has children her marriage only has what a 50% survival rate? I asked her why she felt like that she answered

“I want kids. I don’t want a dad for my kids though if he doesn’t want to be a part of my kid’s lives and will not be there for me.”

UMMMMM….WOW….Breathe momma and don’t cry.

How do you answer that?I realize this comment doesn’t really need an answer. She’s 10 going on 23.

I will be honest and say there were two reactions I had to this statement.Both making them self reflect.

The first PRIDE:

She gets all that I do for the family. She sees that yes even though a family SHOULD be made up of mommy and daddy and kids, it just doesn’t always work like that and that if it doesn’t life has to go on. She feels that she has enough strength in her even at this young age that if push comes to shove she could do it on her own. She very obviously is not going to settle for less than the best from any perspective guy she may date then marry.

I have done a good job of hiding some of the harder times us single moms go through from her…so she doesn’t see it.

They know how to take care of a household because we have learned as a team. They do know it takes everyone in the family to make a house run smoothly.

the second reaction was GUILT:

No child should EXPECT that when they grow up they’re going to have to be a parent on their own. I haven’t always been in the best relationships and my kids know this and have seen this(this includes with their dad.) When my kids did have a “father figure” that wasn’t anyone I was dating but a husband of a friend whom they all loved,that relationship ended badly. He ended up committing suicide. Talk about rocking your kid’s world. No child should ever have to go through that.

I have done too good of a job of hiding the hard times with my kids. While I’m very open and honest with my kids,maybe I’m not being honest enough? They don’t know how,in my head,while I was trying to get Holly’s arm free this week I was thinking “Please…I wish I had anyone to call besides my daddy for advice on this.”(and in all fairness to that last statement I could’ve called B but he was starting a new job that day and well I figured a “help holly’s arm is stuck” phone call would not look good for him.)

They didn’t see me angry and pissed off,punching the wall, screaming at the fact that not only did my best friend lose her husband and her kids lost their father, but the one man my kids had trusted had totally just screwed them all over.No one saw these moments because I had no one there to support me…I had to work through them on my own.

They have always seen me do it all on my own. Even when married to their father. The upside of this…I CAN do most things on my own. The downside? Sometimes I’m too stubborn and bull-headed for my own good and it causes problems for me. (as in no I won’t go to the hospital I’m fine even though my heart is racing I can’t breathe and I hurt like hell.) it has also caused problems in past realtionships where I just automatically assume I’m responsible for every little thing and then I end up being taken advantage of.

They have not seen my totally pathetic “I KNOW I’m gonna be the lonely old cat woman for the rest of my life.” moments. Yes I joke about them on here and with others. Very few have seen these moments. Like I said they are PATHETIC.

She has no clue on how much I have had to sacrifice to be able to stay home with them as a single mom.

 

So yeah as you can see one little sentence from Kenna totally threw me through a loop. I’m happy she sees that yes she can be strong enough to do almost anything on her own. I’m sad and guilty that she would just assume she is going to have to at some point.

We have read the Bible on all of this. We’ve talked about how we’re not meant to do this on our own. God created Eve because Adam was lonely. She knows what the Bible says…but she also sees the reality of the fallen world.

I’m in a great relationship now. I’m praying that with time Kenna will see the positives of having two adults in a household. I’m praying that I won’t always have to be a single mom. I’m praying that the words,

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be a single mom.” will change to ” I cannot wait to meet the man of my dreams and raise a family with him.”

Yeah kids can really rock your world.

Yes I’m a Single Mom Part 3:Don’t Punish My Kids

****This will be my last installment on being a single mom. While my blog is partly about my single momness(yes it’s a word I say it is so there), I do not want my blog to only focus on this. While I’m happy to provide encouragement and feel like I have I want to take a minute to talk about one of the the down sides of being a single mom.****

I’ve mentioned before that after becoming a single mom I moved down to Arizona to “find myself.” Obviously finding myself involved moving to the desert of Phoenix AZ in the middle of August. Yes to top that off my air conditioner went out in the car our first week there. Hello 115 degree weather and 4 very young kids!

The other part of finding myself included looking up old highschool friends. WHY I even thought this was a good idea I still will never know. The one person I did reconnect with among many was my old highschool flame. After 6 months living in the hot desert and dating him on and off we decided to blend our families and me move up to Northern Arizona ,where they do in fact get snow. Now I did live separately from him for another 6 months,but eventually we moved in together.He had two young boys so together we had 6 kids that I homeschooled.

All of the dirty little details escape me now. Mostly because I’ve blocked them out. Mostly because it doesn’t really apply to this blog post. However I can say after 2 years of emotion and verbal abuse that was quickly turning physical I packed up my kids and myself and moved to an apartment in the same town.

I remember that day and how good I felt. I had been very blessed that two of my very good friends from our local homeschool group had offered not only their help but also their husbands. I didn’t have a lot of stuff so one flat-bed trip later all of our stuff was piled in the corner of our two bedroom apartment.

You see my homeschool group I had belonged to for those 2 years had been intricate in me getting enough courage to leave this guy. After the last year of being cowarded in a corner being yelled at over “go on just leave but no one will want your sorry ass with 4 kids anyways” , or that I was fat and lazy if I could only squeeze my butt into a size 6 instead of a size 0 or 2, my self-esteem was non-existent to say the least. They had seen me care for all 6 of these kids, and bring them to various functions all on my own.

After moving, the kids and I would show up for different homeschool functions and everyone would ask how I was doing. If it was a “family” event I would muster up enough courage to go. You see it was hard for me, as it is I’m sure for a lot of single moms to go to events where they see “happy” families,dads included.I knew however how important it was for the kids to go, so I would put my uneasiness aside. However I always ended up feeling blessed because the dads at these functions would take extra time to talk with my kids and encourage them, they would then ask me if there was anything I needed. Me being the stubborn person I am(yes yes I’ll admit it) would never admit needing help with anything. I mean I was after all an adult I could figure most things out.

So slowly the kids and I started piecing back together our lives. We lived in a nice small community, I had my other single mom friends, a good church, and life was good. Summer came and the kids all played baseball, where we ran into other families from the home school community. The dad’s took time to help out my kids knowing I wasn’t the most athletic of people.

Towards the start of the school year, the leader of the homeschool group contacted me and asked me to pray about becoming the leader for the following year. She was stepping down. I met for coffee with one of my friends that had helped me move and excitedly told her about what I had been asked. This kind of role was exactly what I needed to boost my self-esteem,plus I had already been homeschooling for at least 3 years at this point so I had a lot of good ideas.

This is where she shared with me a conversation she had with another homeschool mom. I guess the other mom had asked if I had been dating. I laughed and told my friend I had been on one date that had ended badly VERY badly. My friend then shared with me that this other girl had told her she didn’t think I’d be a good leader because I was a “single mom” (gasp oh I know the HORROR) and that it made her and some other ladies uncomfortable having me in the group as a single mom. My friend felt so horrible telling me…you could see it in her face. I assured her(at least I hope I did) that there were no ill feelings towards her from me. I then got into my car,feeling like I had been slapped in the face,and drove home.

Really? I made the other ladies uncomfortable because I was a single mom? I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. Neither could I wrap my head around the fact that me being a single mom would make me any less qualified to be a leader in the group. The homeschool group was for the kids. It had nothing to do with my living situation. Plus weren’t these the same ladies that for the last year of that horrid relationship,had encouraged me to leave him and move out on my own?It just didn’t make sense to me. They were fine with me being in the group knowing I was in an abusive relationship, but not ok with me being in the group as a single, healthy, mom?What did that even have to do with homeschooling in the first place?Through it all I had continued to homeschool and put my kids first in every other aspect of my life. How did the two even mesh?

I remember getting the kids inside the apartment then sitting out on the front steps and just absolutely losing it. I sat there and cried and cried. I cried mostly for my kids,knowing that this whole time being in this group they had been known as “that single mom’s kids.” It was bad enough that almost weekly I was asked in front of the kids if they all had the same dad, but now these group of people who were supposed to be our friends, we made uncomfortable. In my mind still to this day, one has nothing to do with the other.

It made me angry. No angry is too kind of a word. It royally pissed me off. If people wanted to punish me because I was trying to make a better life for us, then fine do that. If people wanted to punish my kids though…..how fair is that?

I remember sharing with my kids we were not going to be part of the homeschool group the following year. We would still get together with the other friends but not the group as a whole. I remember them asking why and my reason of “just because” was not enough to feed their curiosity. So, I told them the truth. I remember one of my kids saying,

“Isn’t that racist?” to which we launched into a lesson of, no being a single parent is not a race but it is discriminatory.

My kids amazed me all agreeing with me that we should no longer be apart of a group that we made “uncomfortable.” My kids constantly surprise me with their grasp on human interactions.

So yes punish me if you see so fit. I know not everyone will always agree with my decisions in life, but please don’t punish my kids. I write this post not to bring you down, but to be real. There will be times in your life when people don’t agree with you being a single mom. Try to remember though through it all,it doesn’t really matter what other people think as long as you keep putting your kids first.

 

 

Meet my kiddos….Holly

Ok I did save the youngest for last. This is my super speed ball of energy Holly

Ok how’s that for one of the first images you’ll see of the day?Scary huh?Currently she is missing oh about 10 teeth. In fact I think this is the first week that the Tooth Fairy has not visited the house. Seriously the Tooth Fairy might be filing bankruptcy here soon!

Holly may have youngest child syndrome you know the drill. Just because she’s the youngest doesn’t mean she can’t do EVERYTHING the bigger kids do. Most likely she’ll do it and do it better as well. I have to warn her brothers that someday if they keep picking on her she may end up kicking their butt.

 

Do you SEE that look in her eyes? Yes she’s definitely ALWAYS thinking! she always has something up her sleeve. She was by far the easiest of all my babies. Either that or by the time she came along I was more laid back and didn’t let the little things bother me as much

She basically taught herself how to read 2 years ago and is already on to chapter books. I guess when you have your three older siblings doing school since the time of your birth you just sort of pick up on things!

 

She loves to help me out in the kitchen. She is mastering her chopping skills quite nicely and of course out of the kindness of her heart is always the first to offer to lick the bowl!I swear this child has boundless energy and hates that I make her still take naps. (which will be ending soon). She still loves to snuggle up and give me kisses.

She is more than just the youngest though. She is my child that taught me not to give up on my dreams of having lots of kids. Two years prior to her I had a baby who very shortly after birth passed away(a post for another time). I thought for sure at that time my heart would never heal and I would never be able to carry through another pregnancy or hold another one of my babies in my arms.

Holly changed ALL OF THAT.  My tough attitude of I’m ok with not having anymore kids quickly melted away.She was definitely my easiest delivery and besides the fact that I drove myself with the three other kids to the hospital,in labor,her labor herself was a big ol party. I had decided by that point instead of living in constant worry of what would happen that I would surround myself with my closest friends and have as much fun as I could. I’m sure the nurses thought we were all crazy. I’m talking one big slumber party complete with pillow fights and all.

Holding her in my arms was surreal. My doubts and worry quickly melted away. My heart started to heal. Holly in herself has no way of knowing this but she taught me how to love again and to never settle for your second option but to always strive for your first.

 

 

 

Meet my kiddos…Nathaniel

My oldest child Nathaniel is in the throws of becoming a pubescent teen. I love boys at this age. When I was younger I worked with a group of youth kids at one of my churches of this age. Nathaniel is slowly figuring out who he is and what he wants to do.

It has not always been a smooth road with my oldest. In fact as an infant we almost lost him at only 2 weeks old. Him being my oldest means in a lot of ways he’s been my “test” child seeing what works and what doesn’t. I was your “normal” over protective mom with him for a long time. Till I figured out if I just stepped back and let him breathe a little more he would figure things out

He is one of the most empathetic children I have ever met. He really has a gift for coming alongside others who may be going through a hard time and helping them.

He also has a mouth on him. I swear I don’t know where he got that from 🙂 The hard part of being 12 is well you’re not really a child anymore and you’re definitely not an adult yet. So what are you? He is learning,with guidance, when to open his mouth and speak and how far is too far.

He constantly makes me laugh. He loves his video games and being able to get outdoors. Yet somehow I think if I gave him a choice he’d sit and play video games all day. I love that he is getting to the age where we can read the same books and both enjoy them!

He has been such a big help in getting our yard into shape. Has stepped into the wonderful world of fire and how to use it responsibly lol. He’s the first one to help when we’re doing a burn pile.

Yes he’s still at that scrawny age as well. Which he takes all in good stride. What can I say he really is an amazing kid and am so proud to call myself his mom

Oh and when he sleeps…he looks like this

Be afraid…Be VERY afraid!

And you’re welcome Nathaniel! Thank you for letting me be your mom!

I hadn’t planned on a sex ed lesson today…

In fact I had a nice lesson planned on Pygmies in Africa and all of us working on our African animal reports.However, as it happens once in awhile my kids had other ideas…or questions I should say.

We did our bible lesson in Genesis 2 (at least that went according to plan). I stopped to rabbit trail a bit on how God created Eve to be a helpmeet to Adam. My oldest daughter sees this as a total kick to women. She really struggles with the idea that Man is the head of the household. So I tried to explain to her using scripture that God wanted Adam to care for Eve as well and that is what a husband should do for a wife(yes yes I see the irony in me explaining this to her). She argued well why can’t a woman take care of the man. Which of course I explained should be the case as well. Anyways so we had this long discussion which then led to how God wanted man and woman to marry and leave their families to focus on starting a family on their own. (such a loose paraphrase I know)

This of course led to sex. Now we’re no strangers to the “Momma how does…” topic conversation starters. it usually happens around the breakfast table. However this morning we were done with breakfast and at the school table. I can’t remember exactly what the first question was but somehow we got to the question of “so when a girl has her period she has dropped an egg right?”

At this moment I leaned over to grab a piece of paper and a pencil to which all the kids promptly groaned and said “No you’re not gonna draw more pictures are you?” I promise it’s never anything graphic. So I put my pencil down and grabbed the calendar instead and explained the 28 day cycle to all of them. Then that was followed by “Well does the egg stay in the tube?” By this point I ignored the groans and grabbed the paper and pencil again quickly sketching out a picture of the ovaries,fallopian tubes,and uterus. All the kid started giggling and told me it looked like Shrek.

So yes we answered questions of ovulation and fertilization and the importance of waiting to have sex because even with birth control every time you have sex you run the risk of becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant. I was actually quite surprised by the maturity and types of questions they asked. Somehow we made it all the way up to dilation and contractions. At this point poor Lane looked like his head was gonna explode and Nathaniel tells him

“Just think of the sperm as a spaceschip and the egg a space station and when it lands it begins a whole new galaxy” aw yes this was how we landed to “ummm wait how does the galaxy get out?” So yes that’s when we discussed  dilation and contractions.

Let me just say by the end of our conversation I called an end to the school day. I figured we had covered enough science to keep us good for awhile.