The 12 year old’s conundrum…

I haven’t written a post about Single Momhood for a long time. Not sure quite why or why not I guess it’s because it is sooo just a part of my life that sometimes I assume it’s normal. For a bunch of us it is just a way of life. Because it is a way of life though I think my independent attitude can get in the way of fostering better relationships. I mean I’ve always been independent, but something else happens to you when you become a single mom I think. For me at least it’s the whole attitude of ” I can take on the world and don’t need any help.”

Stubbornness is not the only hard part of being a single mom. Last night I had a very interesting conversation with Nathaniel.

They are starting to visit their dad every other weekend. They haven’t done this since the first year of our separation and even that didn’t last more than 6 months.

So here is the conundrum… B’s cousin Ben who is like family to me is hosting “Paco taco night” aw to be 21 and full of imagination again. Basically we’re gonna make tacos,wait Ben is making tacos I might be making the guacamole. After tacos we’re watching horror movies and well I mean who doesn’t LOVE tacos and horror flicks right?

Nathaniel being the 12 and a half year old, I’m almost a man, person he is doesn’t want to miss Paco taco night(and really who can blame him? Again tacos and horror movies = awesomeness) So last night he asks if he really has to go to dads. Then he asks me,

“Can’t you just tell dad I’m sick?” Wow just wow….umm one, most kids I know don’t ask their parents to help them fake sick for them. Usually the kids fake sick to their parents. Secondly as I explained to him,

“I work hard to have a somewhat,kind of sort of, civil relationship with your father. I can’t lie to him,that’s not right.”

Which being the almost manly 12 and a half year old that he is,Nathaniel understood. I also told him though if he wanted to go he needed to discuss that with his father. I already know where this will land when he does ask his dad though. The same place it landed when I had told Bruce the kids wanted to do soccer the first year we were separated and some games would fall on his weekend…I will wind up being the bad guy trying to take his kids away from him. Apparently I’m great at being the bad guy. Wait…do bad guys get capes?and masks?If so SWEET. I’ve already got my maniacal laugh down.Ooohhh I could be called…oh I don’t know Madame X.Just throw me a a red  body suit and I’m good to go.Oh and a mask…I definitely will need a mask.

Sorry…got distracted their for a moment. Maybe I really am evil I’ve always identified more with the bad guys than the good.

Oh see now I’m just really getting of track.Back to my point.

My point?Sometimes it just really bites being a single mom. I hope Nathaniel will feel comfortable enough to ask his dad, and I hope his dad will be thinking of his son first and allow him to do so. Oh yeah can I just also hope that it doesn’t lead to me getting any nasty texts or being called any nasty names this go around? I know how horribly selfish of me right?