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Beware of Ms. Clause

Wow Ms. Clause is getting a bad rap this year! I was reminded of an incident regarding her last night which brought to mind another conversation I had with Kenna a couple of months back.

She had asked me why she hadn’t gotten the pocket knife she had asked for.the last two Christmases. In her defense I think she’s totally capable of handling one. I have no fear of her having a pocket knife,I just don’t want it to fall into one of her siblings hands that I’m not so confident in.

Anyways she had asked me if Santa would bring her one(Holly must’ve been around since she’s the only one who still believes.) I told her probably not. Mind you I was single at the time and I have NO idea what kind of knife to buy her. When she asked why I told her simply,

“Mrs Clause is a bitch.” To which she giggled. Yea….no idea where my kids get their sense of humor.

Last night we were again talking about Santa and Ms. Clause. Nathaniel made sure to remind me that there was no Mrs Clause anymore. When I asked why he said,

“Because we were talking at the old house one day and I said something about Mrs. Clause and you said Mrs. Clause left Santa because he drank too much eggnog.”

At first I denied ever saying it. As funny as it is could I really have said something like that? Then B stepped up and said he could totally see me saying something like that. The more I thought about 1)the funnier it got and 2) I probably did say that.

So the conclusion I come to this morning? Ms Clause really IS a bitch.

Oh that and I’m most likely going on the naughty list for saying such things!



My kids are so random….wonder where they get it from?

Friday was run around like a mad woman day. In fact I was running around so crazily I can’t even remember what I did! I do know that at one point I got hungry and we were up around the neighborhood I grew up in. Gosh what did I do Friday? It involved me running into town for a couple hours then running back home then packing up to head to the new place but I think the stress of the move has wiped my memory….

Oh wait I remember! I had to head to my other cousins house early Friday morning. By the time I left that visit the creatures were singing the “I’m starving” song so THATS how we ended up in our old neighborhood for lunch. (makes perfect sense right?No?I didn’t think so either but whatevs.)

Ok so back to focusing.There is a point to this post. The point?My random kids that even inthe midst of craziness can make me stop and laugh and enjoy life.

I took them to a small chinese resteraunt since we’ve been living on frozen pizza and cereal. They’ve been to chinese buffets before but never an actual sit down,order off the menu, chinese resteraunt. We all ordered a lunch special and from taste one of the egg drop soup they were all in love. They were in love with our sweet waitress and in love with the food.Heck they were even in love with me because for once I was the hero of the day.

They kept going on and on about how good the food was and how they really should thank the chef. All while stuffing their cute little faces.They were practically demanding that they meet the chef.

At one point Nathaniel excused himself to the restroom.When he came back he sat down and very matter of factly replied,”Well I got to meet the chef…we were in the restroom at the same time.”

At that moment all 5 of us were reverted back to 5 year old giggling children(Yes I know some of us had less of a revert than others).Once we half way composed ourselves he told me,

“I told him this was the best Chinese food I’ve ever had and thanked him.”

Now me with my imagination and knowing my very talkative 12 year old can only imagine the chef standing at the urinal next to Nathaniel, taking care of business, while my son talked his ear off.I stared dismayed at my child for a moment after he told me he also shook his hand.

“Please tell me you were both done …well you know…you let the poor chef finish before you did all this right?And you washed your hands!”

Sighing and rolling his eyes because obviously this mom had all of a sudden lost her coolness,

“No mom I did it all at the urinal.” and before I could say or stop him he mimicked finishing up his business,zipping his fly,and shaking the chef’s hand.

Totally inappropriate …..YES! Funny as hell????YES!!! again the whole table  burst into almost silent giggles. We were laughing so hard some of us were crying,others were trying not to choke on their food. It took us a good five minutes to settle down back to eating then I thought of something else.

“WAIT tell me the chef washed his hands?” that was it we were gonners for the rest of lunch as we all started giggling again.(and yes he did wash his hands)

Times like that make me so thankful I have such random kids.