A little verbal vomit for your Tuesday morning
Something’s off….I wish I could put my finger on exactly what it is but I can’t at the time. You can always tell when things are off with me because my blogging becomes either non existent or erratic. I wake up in the morning think I SHOULD blog…but then just think how I’m not in the most positive of moods so why bring everyone else down?
Before you say “Hey cut yourself some slack you’re 32 weeks pregnant” it’s not all just that. I get I’m pregnant and tried and grumpy and have swollen beyond sexy feet…but other things are off too and it throws me off as well.
After yet another reschedule though the fridge and piano are FINALLY out of the house.
It seems though anything I try to do lately here inside of Casa La Crazy just goes wrong. No one listens,or things go missing,or what once kept me entertained for hours now bores me to death.
We are schooling and for the most part enjoying it although I’m struggling with a very reluctant reader who has gotten down right rude at times. This in my book is never acceptable yet she still is allowed to just sit there and stare when asked a question?
Two of my kids lost part of a 200 dollar math curriculum yesterday that Holly is currently in the middle of.
And well yes have I mentioned that I’m 32 weeks pregnant? Not only that but but not married 32 weeks pregnant. I’m sorry if I ruffle any feathers but I hate feeling like a careless teenager who had to make the,”Dad I’m pregnant” phone call months back. I am 35…yes it was my choice to have sex without protection but honestly what kind of example have I set for my kids?Trust me getting the “sex before marriage” talk from your 13 year old is never fun. At least I know he’s been listening.
I’ve said it before…blending a family is hard work. It takes time,it takes patience,but really some of these things we’ve been working on for the last 8 months with no improvement.After 8 months small things like accepting you need to do chores should be do able by now. But no since it’s not maybe I’m the one that needs to step back and adjust things?
I’m sorry so where has any of my role in the household gone? Where has my pride in my job gone?
We have started working with a counselor for the bigger aspects of blending a family,dealing with attachment issues,and other things. Here’s the kicker….
It’s the same counselor my family used to go to 20 years ago.
20 years ago I hated this man…I’m pretty sure in all my teen angst glory I told him I wish he would die.
Now I could kiss the ground he walks on.
He assures me that yes I was a little bitch but I was still fun to work with…hey gotta love the guy for being honest. Oh and I’ve apologized for wishing death or any other plaguing disease on him when I was younger.
We were there 20 years ago mainly for my adoptive brother with many many issues.When i told him some of the reasons we were here now he sat back and said,
” So you have come full circle then.”
SIGH
YES
I don’t know why that term bothers me so much because I love each and everyone of my children my own or not…
I find myself getting angry about a lot of things impart because I’m an impatient person…impart because well crap …I don’t know.
So if you’ve been wondering why I haven’t been blogging lately it’s not so much because it’s summer it’s more because I’m in this stupid funk.
Stick by me folks I promise to kick myself in the butt and get out of it soon.
Posted on July 17, 2012, in My randomness and tagged blended families, counsleing, off kilter mood, pregnancy. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.
Twisted Domestic Goddess 
I love you….
((hugs)) As a prolific word vomiter, I get it…I have no way of fixing it, so hugs are the next best thing…((hugs))
Hey there my friend, cut yourself some slack please. You are juggling lots of balls right now and over time a few must drop. And it is not your fault or anything you are doing wrong. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job. Life is not simple with straight lines (nor do I think you are the type of person who likes straight lines and would stay coloring within them anyway) there are curves and just plain crazy stuff that comes along. It is how you act and what you do when the crazy curves come that define you. I think that you have proven yourself to be a strong, smart, amazing person but even the strongest person needs to vent and cry.
I wish I could give you a real hug and have a cup of coffee with you.
Oh things will get better. Some of what you are feeling is hormones, and yes I said it. I hated getting that excuse but its true. And getting it all out, even if its just your blog will hopefully help you feel better. It did for me at least. Take some time to yourself, even if its just a bath and try to relax, I know its easier said than done.
you young lady have a lot on your plate – take it easy – you are 32 weeks along (I never got that far along with my kids – they were in a rush to be born). a little verbal vomit I find helps – gets it out of your system